Get My Goat

If somebody pisses me off I will not, no I correct, CAN not rest until I've had my say.

Period.

I have always been this way. I don't know why. But I cannot let someone get the last dig in.

Ever.

Until now.

If I died in my sleep tonight, would I really want to die with anger intruding my last night's rest?

In the whole scheme of things, does letting someone else have the last word in an argument weaken me somehow?

Or do I just think it does?

Maybe, NOT answering, not letting my goat get got, will make me stronger. Or perhaps I'll find a better way to respond, like Patrick Dempsey did in Can't Buy Me Love when he nailed that kid's front door with a steaming bag of dog crap.

NO!

I want to leave one last smartass, gotcha comment on my FB page, but I have made myself a promise not to respond to things that REALLY anger me until enough time has passed for the initial dammit-anger has a chance to settle.

Anger is unhealthy.

I know it is, like smoking. Like 3 bottles of red wine in 2 hours. Bad unhealthy. But I think maybe anger is addictive, too, just like smoking, just like alcohol. That sometimes, I crave anger beacause of the rush I get when I have a good comeback. If that's true, it's kinda twisted.

And I finally get karma, I think. I've always said it to the kids when they do something and get hurt, "Haha, Finn, karma." But that's not what karma is. The more you do something, the more likely you are to do it again. Like getting crazy, out-of-control mad. The more times you give into that kind of maddness, the more likely it is that you will do it again.

So, it is up to me to change my "last word" karma by breaking the "last word" cycle.

I'm not saying I won't continue to post some real zingers on specific issues because if that happened, let's face it, I wouldn't be me.

BUT I vow to not go back and forth until I have the last, bitter word.